Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wordless-ish Wednesday... (copied from Amy)

This is copied from my girl Amy at Three Thirty Three
But I wanted to share the same thing... (We had the pleasure of meeting this amazing family when we went to California for my Dad's surgery for kidney cancer. They are such a bright spot in the Diabetes Community and just in life! Please, please pray for Ryan!!!)
 
~ The Schuhmacher Family needs your prayers



~ Find their story on facebook



~ Read Meri's blog, Our Diabetic Life



"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”(Matthew 18:19-20 ESV)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

#Fail

If there is one thing I LOVE about my blog friends, it is their transparancy. So in keeping with my friend, Hallie and her recent post, I just want to kind of own up to some stuff too. Or as Matt says, "take ownership". If you want to skip my whiney sob-story, skip to the stars at the end and feel free to offer any suggestions...

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So basically, I am pretty much falling apart at the seams. Like if I had seams, but I don't. But let's just say that I am so thankful that my head is actually stuck to my neck otherwise I would 1) lose it or 2) indeed hear that really loud POP! When I remove it from my butt. (Matt said that too.) And I would like to say that this all just popped up when Aiden was diagnosed with Type 1, but no. That would be a lie. It has been since Emma was born. It was like all was fine and dandy (and clean and organized) and then out pops Emma and I lost ALL brain cells and all ability to funtion like I had prior to January 7, 2005. From the moment we came home, I was a mess. I have this cabinet and counter top in our front room (formal dining room > office > playroom > junk storage facility) and it was piled with JUNK for MONTHS after Emma was born. It was the first sign. I also just sat at home and held her while she cried for 13 weeks and watched Everyday Italian and Barefoot Contessa and I hated those shows. But I was scared to do anything so I sat there and held her. It was great, I loved it and her so much, but it didn't help with spiral to disorganization. And then I kind of pulled it together enough to get my counter cleaned off and wised up enough to quit being a real CPA and went to work part-time at a construction company doing their bookkeeping and office management. Best. Decision. Ever. So then we had Aiden and it was a little better (and I am meaning my ability to funtion as a rational, thinking human - nothing about them, that really was all great and Aiden was a rockstar of an easy baby!!!) So we definitely had our moments thinking we were on track, but then I turned into a hoarder and disorganized. I literally keep EVERYTHING! I just can't part with their baby stuff. So we just keep getting more and more stuff and I keep just piling it upstairs and I should really show you a picture. I might, but  right now I think I would just absolutely SHOCK you and I don't want to do that to you. Then we had 2010, aka the year from HELL. I just really said it, not H-E-double hockey sticks, but really HELL!!! First my Nana died completely unexpectedly and it just completely broke us. I still cry just about everyday about it. Seriously. Don't tell my obgyn because I totally lied about that. But I do. I miss so much about her. But then we had several other family friends die and then in August my cousin, Kyle, drowned in Destin. He was a single dad to 2 teenagers and was an amazing person. That was on a Thursday, I think and Aiden was diagnosed the next Wednesday with diabetes. We had to leave him at the hospital with Matt's parents to go to the funeral. It was so tragic and so hard. It still just makes me sick. So then it was kind of like, ok God, what's going to happen next... Then my aunt died, another aunt died, an uncle died, and another aunt died all within one year from when my Nana died. So since then we have all been feeling a little lost and vulnerable, I think. My kids are SKILLED about Jesus and Heaven and funerals. So that's good I guess. But needless to say, I have a little anxiety about what's going to happen next. My face looks like a teenager (not me when I was a teenager, I NEVER had acne then!) But now I am a full-fledged pizza face. It is so embarassing. I rarely wear make up just because it seems to make it worse and that just makes me look worse! And while we are on looks, did I mention that I am cheap? Yeah, I am. So I went to a beauty college and got my haircut for $9. Score! Right? WRONG!!!! I haven't gotten a haircut in almost a year because it has taken that long to grow back out to where I am even halfway comfortable. And now it is just all jacked up and awful.

So we have covered anxiety, acne, and bad hair...moving on to...clothes!! I always used to want to go on What Not to Wear. I have NO idea what goes together or what is in style. I even wore my maternity clothes for a really long time after I had Emma so my sister in law could turn me in and they would have good footage when they did my show. ;) And I have always been not thin so that adds to the yuckiness of my clothes. When Aiden was diagnosed we had a diet Nazi for a endo and I was scared to eat anything and I sure wouldn't eat anything that I didn't want Aiden to eat (I know he CAN eat it, but we like to make sure we only do snacks in moderation) and I really did and even lost 25 pounds (I know, how sucky did I eat before). Then we got our AWESOME endo and he let Aiden be a kid and we got on the pump and although "we" still try to only snack in moderation, we let him have WAY more than we did, but he is totally on track and in a healthy weight for his height so all is good...for him. This is so embarrassing, and I HATE this phrase... "Do as I say, not as I do", but that is really what I have been doing, except that it is like "Eat as I say, not as I do" and I have probably gained all of that 25 pounds back in the last few months. Sickening. I just hate that and I so don't want to be like that to Emma and Aiden, like expect them to "make good decisions" and "choose healthy snacks" and then sneak brown sugar and chocolate chips into my peanut butter apple dip or sneak most of the Halloween candy that Matt bought from them and they maybe got 2 pieces of. What a hypocrite! Awful!!!

So, on to lack of focus and fogetfulness. It is bad. At home, I worry about work and at work I worry about home. And the disorganization at home and work are so bad that I to the point that I am so overwhelmed that I don't accomplish anything anywhere. It is pitiful. And even the work that I do accomplish is not up to par. Matt's new saying is "It is what it is" because he is just coming to accept the fact that our house is constantly in a state of shambles. And also, I work less than 1/2 the hours that he does. And at work my 2 bosses are like "do you need help?" and I try hard at work to at least appear like I am on top of things, but it is quickly becoming apparent that I am so not. And I literally forget everything that I don't write down and this week I even lost something that I wrote down, so I forgot it anyway. I so wish I was kidding.

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I so badly want to be one of those Moms who is on top of everything, who cooks, cleans, does laundry (Lord help me, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my mom's help on that!!), creates a loving sanctuary for her husband and kids to come home to, who has a candle burning and brownies in the oven, who has quiet time and reads scripture and goes to Bible study, who has clean toilets and runs 5 miles a day, who volunteers,  who is always early, who reads real books and makes time for friends and mom, who advocates for Type 1 and knows just what to say when someone tells her that he's not going to donate to a disease that can be cured by eating vegetables, and whose kids have brushed hair and brused (twice daily) teeth and clean finger nails, and clean cute outfits. But I'm just not there right now.

So, all that said... I definitely am not looking for "You're doing great"s or anything like that, but I would LOVE to know your secrets!! What do you do to be more organized or just to make your life more peaceful or joyful? What really works? I have all these pins on Pinterest, but I would just love your "real life" tips too. Is there anyone who feels really on top of stuff and how do you do it? Thanks for listening!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!!

We were all set to have a FABULOUS Valentine's Day!! :)
 Then, my "heart" cinnamon rolls from Pinterest looked a little more like boobs than hearts! No wonder they never show the after picture on there!! ;)
Super cuties!!

We had class parties and blood sugars behaved. YAY!!

 Emma got pizza for her party! :) Her blood sugar cooperated too. Did I mention that I checked her at church the other day. 2 trips to the bathroom and 2 stops at the water fountain = check. 95 after donuts so I think we are good, but I just always worry.

Valentines from Nana. It was raining hearts!! They really wanted "real" umbrellas. Thanks, Nana!!

Brinkley and Bella got Arby's for Valentine's Day!! Thank you for that too, Nana!! Why did this picture turn sideways?!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Lots of stuff...

We have been keeping busy as usual... A few weeks ago, Emma had a Dance Kiddie Clinic at HarBer High. The Silver Stars are famous for their kicklines... ;) 
 She was really excited (and maybe a tiny bit nervous, she said). She was a blessed little girl to have so many family members come watch her. Then we all headed to Mama Z's for some dinner!!
 The next Monday, we had our JDRF Walk Awards. YAY!! Aiden got his Golden Sneaker so that was very exciting!!
 This is just some of the craziness that we deal with around here!! Weirdos!!
 Then last Friday, Emma had her first belt testing.
 She didn't quite break the board. Here Mr. T is trying to help her out. But she broke it at class the next Monday. :) She still got her new belt, so no worries!!
 This her and Aiden's BFF, Ryaln. :)
 Her friend from soccer and softball, Natalie came to check it out and support Emma. That was too sweet!!
Emma and Mr. Felix! We love that guy. He is such a rockstar.
 Emma and Ella with Mr. T. We are so thankful for the awesome teachers of her classes. They are just amazing! :)
So that's what we have been up to lately...

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Emma's Twenty Questions!!

I borrowed this from Hallie... I'm kind of scared to find out the answers!!

Here are Emma's responses to 20 questions:
1. What is something Mommy always says to you?

"Clean up your room... wait... I love you."

2. What makes Mommy happy?
"When our house is clean."
(OMG, can you tell I have been on a rampage about cleaning?)

3. What makes Mommy sad?
"When we don't listen"
(Soooo true!!)

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
"Telling us jokes"
5. What was Mommy like as a child?
"good and bad - I don't really know, Nana doesn't tell us"
6. How old is Mommy?
"thirty...wait... thirty four... is that right?"
(No, but close! LOL!)
7. How tall is Mommy?
"an inch and a half"

8. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?
"shop"
(I do like a bargain!)
9. What does Mommy do when you're not around?
"clean, probably watch tv and take a shower"
(again with the cleaning)

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
"Singing...wait...praying"
(Worst. Singer. Ever!! Hahahaha! But yay for the praying part!)

11. What is Mommy really good at?
"her job"
(Probably not if you ask my boss!! :( I have gotten the "distracted" talk more than once!)

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
"she's not good at snoring, that means you do snore"
(Whatev! Like she is ever up when I am sleeping!!)

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
"have people call you and you answer it and tell them how much to pay for the house"
(kind of!)

14. What is Mommy's favorite food?
"mexican"
(Definitely!)


15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
"when you're happy at us"
(eeek!)

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"SpongeBob...say Sponge Lady or a fish"
17. What do you and Mommy do together?
"sleep. cuddle. and sit and watch tv."
(I guess when I'm not screaming at them for not cleaning."

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
"I don't think we are, wait we are both girls. We both like relish."

19. How are you and Mommy different?
"We don't act the same. Mommy cleans, I don't. You don't like Daddy Noodles or Square noodles"
20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
"'cause she's nice."
(when I'm not screaming!)
21. Where is Mommy's favorite place to go?
"Disney"
(Nailed that one!!)